Thursday, September 29, 2011

Sometimes When Words Fail You, Inspiration Is Born...

Last year, at this exact moment, I was on my way to the gymnasium at Courthouse Bay on Camp LeJeune in North Carolina. It was down pouring in rain, and had been for almost a week.

About 1/2 hour earlier, I had gotten the most exciting text message I had received in at least 8 months, probably my entire life. One of my fellow military wives and I had been driving around look at the “Welcome Home” signs notoriously hanging on the fence. The fence surrounding the military base is always COVERED in them. Someone removes them every Thursday, and by Friday, they are covered again. It’s become a permanent and familiar fixture in Jacksonville and the other towns surrounding the base. It is a good indication of how many families are reunited each week, and how many Marines return home safely after fighting for my freedoms for 7+ months. And what a good reminder they are! We were taking it all in, when I got it—the text message.

It was 3 words, but spurred the excitement I was already feeling to new heights you wouldn’t even think imaginable. “Through the gate.” I read it to my friends who was driving and we were immediately done admiring signs and off the gymnasium, through the flooded roads in the pouring rain. We had endured 7 long months without so much as a phone call from our husbands, a grand total of 4 delays, and what seemed like a ridiculously long drive bus ride (for our Marines) from Cherry Point, to Jacksonville.

And they were finally here. When we got the gym, we waited, and waited, and waited. The top priority of whoever was in charge of our Marines was to get the guns to the armory and get them locked up. I guess that’s a reasonable top priority…but not much fun when you are waiting for them to arrive.

After what seemed like two hours of waiting, but was probably really just 1/2 hour (in the rain, no less) we finally saw the bus. At a turtle’s pace, it pulled closer and closer and…kept going. Chinese Water Torture, anyone? It continued to go at a turtle’s pace around the block and finally came to a stop in front of the crowd of rain drenched, but still excited family members. 

I find it kind of funny. I don’t really remember the rain. I mean, I know it was raining, but I don’t really remember it. I don’t remember wishing that it wasn’t raining, I don’t remember complaining about being wet, and cold while standing outside waiting for the bus to get there. I think I was so excited to be there. To be able to be at the homecoming. To be a part of something so exciting. And to be living my life, that the rain was completely irrelevant, and unimportant.

Apparently one of the people “in charge” (perhaps the same one who ensured the safety of the weapons at the armory?) had some compassion. I had never been to an ordeal like this before, but was informed by others who had, that generally they get off the bus, and are led in front of, and past the crowd of people standing in the rain waiting for them, without the ability to acknowledge their presence, and would meet in the gym for one final formation (as if someone would be careless enough to miss the bus that was bringing them home) and one final “debriefing”. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Perhaps from reading about my boot camp experience?

I think some people were rather surprised when the first of our Marines stepped of the bus, and almost impossibly instantaneously located his wife/girlfriend/sister/whoever, and with one swift motion, picked her up and hugged her. The Marines continued to file of the bus—some picking their family members out of the crowd unbelievably quickly, while others—presumably those who did not have family members there to greet them—went straight to the storage compartment of the bus, and began unloading the bags.

While I stood their waiting for Steve to get off the bus, part of me wanted so badly to go to the guys who didn’t have family or friends their to greet them, to tell them how much they missed them, to thank them for what they did, and to welcome them back to the US of A. But even being a military wife, and being involved in the military lifestyle, and being exposed to Marines on a regular basis, it seems words fail you in a situation like that. So instead, I said nothing. Instead, I stood and observed that slowly, but surely, as more and more Marines filed off the bus, the crowd was overcome more and more with desert cami color, as families—mothers, fathers, children, wives, aunts, uncles, and friends were reunited with their Marines. Two of these men held their first child for the first time on this day, after missing the birth of their babies while they were in Afghanistan.

I continued to wait, and wait, and wait, beginning to think that Steve had somehow been left in Afghanistan, or Bulgaria, until he FINALLY stepped off the bus—one of the last ones—I should have known he would do that to me…

And there we met, about 3 feet from the bus, in a sea of other men in uniform and reunited families. There I finally got my turn to be picked up, and hugged. There is where I finally got to see my husband, and finally start BEING husband and wife—even though we had already been married for 9 months. It’s more or less where my married life started—maybe we should count THIS day as our anniversary, since we are having so much trouble deciding which date to use as our “official” anniversary.

There is so much more that I could say about this day, but for now I think I will leave it at that. It’s so hard to come up with words to describe something that few other people have experienced, and will ever experience. I am hoping some day I will find the words to describe what it’s like the moment you see someone you love for the first time after 7 months of only talking to them on the phone. But much like when I was watching Marines step off the bus with no one to greet them, words fail me now as well.

I will say this though, although I have said that this day was a beginning, it was kind of bittersweet, because I knew it was an ending too. I knew that this would be the last homecoming of this caliber, that we would never again be separated by the military (unless there is a war of epic proportions—knock on wood that doesn’t happen), and I knew that from here on out, the rest of Steve’s military career would merely consist of “going through the motions” to make everyone happy. All of the things that had made me feel so strong, so independent, and so supportive, were coming to and end. And although there is excessive amounts of stress that came with the job title, there was so much pride, and so much courage that came with it also, that cannot, and will not, ever be able to be replaced.

There was so much that I learned during the 7 months that Steve was in Afghanistan, about who I was, what I was capable, and what I wanted to do. Perhaps some of it was spurred by the sight of Marines with no one to greet the, perhaps some of it was from knowing that Steve shared his care packages with a buddy who didn’t get very many, perhaps it was a desire to continue to be connected to the military and supportive of our troops in any way that I could, but following this deployment, I had a desire. I’m still working on what all that desire entails, and how I want to go about it, but hopefully in the next few weeks, I will be able to find some way to go about it, and have enough information to post about it, and maybe involve some of my readers who want to be a part of it as well (is this the longest run-on sentence you have every seen, or what?!). Only time will tell if I find a way to fulfill my desire!

In the meantime, I will bask in this day, knowing that last year, at this time, the best part of life (the married and actually getting to be together part) was just beginning. Just remembering the events of this day last year, makes my heart beat faster, and harder, and brings tears to my eyes. And makes me wish that I could remember exactly how it felt, exactly how it happened. Although I still cling to a past lifestyle that I miss dearly, I am starting to be more comfortable with moving on to something new, and continuing a life being married to my best friend.

No comments:

Post a Comment