Lessons

I originally wrote this post about 2¹/₂  months ago, but it never actually made it to my blog, although I really wanted it to. Since then, some of it has been rendered irrelevant and “outdated”, so, here goes version 2.0.

I have been job searching – which stinks – and I haven’t found anything yet. I have applied for some. Some that I would really like doing, but the verdict is still out on them. And lately, there hasn’t been much more to apply for. I am hoping that one of the “outstanding ones” pulls through, or some others come up soon so I can at least feel like I am ACTIVELY searching and not just sitting around.

That being said, I am beginning to reconsider some things. I am not sure why God decided that the job I was working wasn’t the job for me, but He did. And luckily, I have found many positive things that have happened because of it.

I have been able to spent some time with my niece and nephews. One of my nephews, I was able to watch for 4 days – and he is the one that I see the least out of my 3 nephews and 1 (now 2) nieces. It was nice to be able to hang out with him and do activities with him. He is 4 and I think that is such a fun age because you can actually DO things with them that younger kids aren’t old enough to do, and older kids aren’t interested in doing.

I was also able to spend some extra time with my twin niece and nephew while awaiting the arrival of their new sibling (a sister), and after the arrival of their sister. I was happy that I was able to help out my sisters-in-law and spend time with my nieces and nephews all at the same time!

Another positive thing that has come out of this is that I was able to help with my cousin’s benefit more than I ever would have been able to if I was working 40 hours a week. When I was still working, I purchased a pattern for a cross-stitching that I wanted to complete and donate for the silent auction part of the benefit. I purchased it with less than 2 months to finish it. I knew that in order to finish it, I might have to pull some overnighters, maybe sacrifice some summer fun, or risk being viewed as anti-social by bringing it to family events and working on it there. But the image on the cross-stitching was just too beautiful and too “fitting” for the circumstance to not do it. So, I was willing to take on no-sleep, no-fun, and being anti-social. However, since I wasn’t working, I was able to work on it at a semi-leisurely pace and finish in enough time that I could get it custom framed. After it was finished, I realize that I would have gotten SIGNIFICANTLY less sleep than I had planned if I was ever going to finish it and work at the same time. I was also able to help with fundraising, advertising, and putting on the benefit. What a wonderful thing to be able to participate in!

The cross-stitching I donated for the benefit, titled "In His Hands".

My most recent positive about not working, is that I was able to help my dad out on the family farm. I have never been interested in farming, and the closest I ever really came to “helping” was doing the occasional pig chores, and rock-picking. Earlier this week, my dad called me and asked if I would be interested in driving semi for him while he combined. I decided I would give it a shot. Shocking, I know. Most people don’t know this, but I have yet to learn how to drive a riding lawn mower because I was too terrified to learn. I also vowed that I would never get a driver’s license up until the day I actually started Driver’s Ed in high school. I have never been interested in learning to drive things. But, there I was sitting in the semi, learning how to drive the 4 miles to the grain elevator and back. I thought for sure I had that mastered and of course the semi broke down. So, before I knew it, I was being trained in on how to drive the combine, where I spent the remainder of my week.

I am glad that I was able to help my dad out. There were so many points during the last week of helping him that I have wondered “How would he have managed this, if I weren’t here?” I’m sure that he would have, because I know he has done it by himself before, but hopefully I made it a little easier by helping him out! I’m also glad I was able to learn about farming and could contribute to the harvest for once in my life. And it was also kind of cool that I was able to conquer my fear of driving new types of vehicles by learning to drive TWO new vehicles in TWO days. I’m thinking a riding lawn mower should be a breeze now!

During my time of unemployment, I have also spent some time considering self employment, until I realized that the only thing I know how to do confidently enough that I would be able to take it on myself is accounting for Matco Tools distributors. So, unless like 20-30 distributors decide to turn their accounting over to me, I wouldn’t really be able to make a living off of that! I have also considered just not working and hoping that now that we have somehow magically maneuvered our way through the pile up of expensive inventory from the Tool Expo, that the business can support us on its own. Of course, then I would feel COMPLETELY lazy, being a stay-at-home wife with no children. I know, I know – there is an “easy” solution to that – just not sure I am ready for that step yet!

Anyway, aside from precious time with my nieces and nephews and time to help someone who needs it, I feel like God has been pulling me to get into His Word more and to spent time thinking about all it has to teach me. I am still working on this. But, then again, isn’t something like that ALWAYS a work in progress? It is always teaching, always showing us new things, always helping us to realize the love of the Father and the value of ourselves through His eyes.

One of the hardest things about losing your jobs – even when it’s through no fault of your own – is the feeling that comes afterward. The feeling of worthlessness, of shame. The feeling that you did something wrong. It took one COMPLETELY tear filled church service and 2 months for me to realize that I didn’t lose my job because of something I did. I didn’t lose it because I was worthless or incapable of performing my job. I didn’t have any reason to feel ashamed. I lost it because God has a different plan for me. A better plan. And that is something I should feel proud of. That He loves me enough to take matters out of my hands, into His own, and take over completely, shaping it into something I never dreamed of. And to help me find the lessons that He is teaching me. It is like He grabbed my face – smushed my cheeks between His hands, forcing me to look at Him and said, “Hey! I’ve got this! Don’t worry! Just enjoy the ride!”

I hope that these little lessons will help me form meaningful blogposts. Whether they are just meaningful to me, or meaningful to others, as well. I want to remember lessons I’ve learned, things He’s taught me.

The Storms We Share, Part 2

I have been neglecting my blog. It has been 4 months since I have posted. There’s really no good reason, no excuse that is sufficient. Truth is, I actually had a blog post all typed out, ready to post over a month ago and I never posted it because I wanted some pictures to go along with it (pictures always hand me up when it comes to blog posting). But, I am thinking now that it is okay because I think it “fits” better after this post anyway. So, now with a heart that needs healing and a new “twist” to my old blog, I am starting to post again. And even though I have said this MANY times before, hopefully this time, it will happen regularly. I have 3 posts ready to go already and inspiration for many more!

I have recently picked up and dusted off my version of Streams in the Desert that I received as a wedding/pre-deployment gift from my mother-in-law and sister-in-law.

Upon reading the July 28^th entry, I found a whole new meaning for the title of my blog. Upon starting my blog, THIS is the explanation I gave for naming my blog what I did. And while that is still very much true, I found this passage, also very fitting.

This is the July 28^th Streams in the Desert passage:

I remember when I was a young person attending school in Mound Pleasant. One day I sat on the side of the mountain and watched a storm as it moved through the valley. The skies were filled with darkness, and thunder began to shake the earth. It seemed as though the lush landscapes were completely changed, and its beauty gone forever. But the storm passed quickly and soon moved out of the valley.

            If I had sat in the same place the following day and said, “Where is that intense storm and all its terrible darkness?” The grass would have said, “Part of it is in me.” The beautiful daisy would have said, “Part of it is in me.” And all the other flowers, fruits, and everything that grows in the ground would have said “Part of the storm has produced radiance in me.”

            Have you ever asked the Lord to make your like Him? Have you ever desired the fruit of the Spirit and prayed for sweetness, gentleness, and love? If so, then never fear the fierce storms that even now may be blowing through your life. Storms bring blessings, and rich fruit will be harvested later.

God gives us “storms” in our lives for many reasons. In the physical sense of the word “storms”, He gives them to us to remind us of His power. To remind us that nothing is out of his control and nothing is too powerful for him to handle. When we are feeling our lowest low, we can rest comfortably knowing that God is all-powerful.

In the symbolic meaning of the word “storm”, he sends them to our lives. The difficult times. The times that our outlook becomes filled with darkness, fear begins to shake our nerves, and it seems as through things are never going to improve, never get better.

But we must always remember that the end of the storm is coming. We won’t always be trapped in darkness and it won’t always seem like things couldn’t get any worse.

God gives us those storms to teach us to be more like Him. To give us the virtues we desperately need.

How would we ever learn to love and learn what love actually is without first having to endure heartbreak? How would we ever feel joy if we didn’t occasionally have to endure deep sorrow that comes with life’s trials? How would we know what peace is if we never had any reason to experience unrest and uneasiness? How would we ever learn patience if we never had to wait for anything? How would we ever recognize and appreciate God’s kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness if He never put us in situations in which He could demonstrate them for us? And how would we ever learn them for ourselves?

A “perfect world” would never be perfect because there are so many emotions we would never feel. We would never have the “bad” emotions, but if it weren’t for the bad emotions and the bad situations, or “storms”, the good ones wouldn’t be all that great.

God gives us storms to teach us to be more like Him and to give us a change to experience the true greatness of the good things in life.

And the best part of it all, is that no matter what the storm may be – a lost job, a death in the family, deployments, whatever, we never have to worry THAT much about it (as hard as that is to remember when your standing in the middle of a hurricane!) because God won’t let it get so out of control that we can’t handle it. He will push you until your breaking point to provide with the blessings he know you need and just when you think the storm is about to bring your demise, He will step in and remind you that He is all powerful. He is in control. And He is.

He displays His power in the whirlwind and the storm. The billowing clouds are the dust beneath His feet.”

Nahum 1:3