The Great Unknown

 (**I have been desperately trying to generate a second post about our Vegas trip, and after 2 separate attempts, and the discovery that over half of my pictures from the trip “disappeared” from my memory card, I have decided to just give it up and move on to something else)

Tonight I seem to have found a recurring theme amongst my Facebook friends/acquaintances. That theme is the unknown. I mostly see it in a group that I am a part of that is a support group for military spouses. This group, is very unique. It isn’t like most other groups on Facebook. It is very, very different. In a very good way. It is a sorority type group that does fundraisers, and potlucks, and everything else you would do with a group of friends.

After a minor panic attack from one of the girls whose husband is currently deployed to Afghanistan, we somehow got on the subject of the unknown. I discovered that many of them are much like I am. Or was, anyway.

One of the biggest struggles, as I have probably mentioned before, of the Marine Corps, is having to conform to their way of doing things. Having to take your schedule and make it fit theirs. Because they don’t “adjust” their schedules to fit yours. Ever. Anytime you try to plan something, it’s like the Marine Corps KNOWS that you have it planned and purposely throws a kink in it. It’s very hard for people who are like I was, to adjust to that. People who always have their life planned out. Who know what they are doing, when they are doing it, and where they are going to do it.

Many people—military and civilian—cling to that as their support. They see it as their way of having some kind of control over the future and the unknown. Unfortunately, most people never realize that it doesn’t really work that way. This is one of the reasons why I am very thankful to the military. The Marine Corps broke me of this habit. It took time, and a lot of frustration, but it did.

My big leap off the edge of “preparedness” into the Great Unknown, came when I moved to North Carolina. I finished college in July, quit my job (without another one lined up) at the end of July, moved back home with my parents with the intention of finding a job. And after about 2 weeks of looking, I bought a plane ticket and was on my way out to North Carolina in the middle of August, with 2 bags worth of stuff to last me for 4 months, or however long I decided to stay out there. This was so uncharacteristic of me. The last time I went to North Carolina (for a 10 day visit, mind you), I bought my plane ticket about 5 months in advance.

After 4 years of being jerked around on the military’s VERY short chain, I was done with it. I decided that I would just willingly go. I would willingly jump through hoops. I would willingly do what they wanted me to do. And if that meant packing 4 months worth of “stuff” into 2 bags, then that’s what I would do.

I still am not really back to my “old self”. And to be honest, I’m not sure I want to go back there. There is something very liberating about having no plans, and no schedules, and not trying to control things. There is something very liberating about being able to “fly by the seat of your pants” and not over think things. To not constantly be thinking about “what if this happens, or what if that happens”—but to just live it, and see what DOES happen.

Let be honest. You can SAY that you are going to that Pampered Chef party next weekend, or you can PLAN on going to you cousin’s best friend’s sister’s baby shower, but does that really mean you have control over your future? Of course not. What happens if your sister is in a bad accident the day before the Pampered Chef party? Or your son breaks his arm the morning of the baby shower? I would bet you’re not going to either one. You can’t control your future. You can plan, and hope for the best, but that’s all you can do. There will always be the Great Unknown.

God is the one who is in charge, and he will put you where he wants you—which is not necessarily going to be where you are “supposed” to be according to your calendar. Which isn’t to say that you shouldn’t keep a calendar—order is good. But, it’s important to not view that calendar as your way to control the future or attempt to make the unknown disappear. Because it doesn’t, and it won’t.

Embrace the unknown. Trust that God will put you where he needs you, when he needs you there. And take a leap out of the world of “structure and control” and do what you feel like doing in that moment. Even if it’s only for a day, leave your schedule behind, let your plans be broken, and just live.

A random moon picture from North Carolina, because I thought this post needed a pictures...and I seem to stuck at remembering to take new ones..

“Sometimes an interruption is actually a divine appointment”

(my mom told me this after we missed our flight to Vegas—not sure if she read it somewhere, or if it was one of her own, but either way, she’s right)