Tuesday, May 19, 2020

31 While 31 - A plan to live life better THE RESULTS.


1.      Go to a Backstreet Boys concert.
CHECK. – So. Much. Fun. Will do again.
2.      Go to a Vikings game.
NOT THIS YEAR. – I thought this would be a fun thing to do as a father/children outing. Turns out my brothers would rather sit at home and watch from their couches than actually go to a game in person. So this is going BACK on the list for the future.
3.      Watch roller derby with Ashley.
NOT THIS YEAR. – Somehow we missed all of these. Hoping to be more aware of their schedule this year so we can go!
4.      Hike 3 new parks.
CHECK. – I believe the actual count was somewhere in the ballpark of 15 new parks that we hiked. I may have grossly underset this goal.
5.      Bike a Minnesota State Trail with Steve and/or Allison.
NOT THIS YEAR. – I think things got a little hectic for all parties on this one. Thing didn’t quite turn out as planned (in good ways and bad) so this one didn’t happen. Maybe another year!
6.      Have Allison teach me something new (paddleboarding, cross-country skiing, rock climbing, kickboxing).
CHECK. – She technically didn’t TEACH me how to do something BUT we did go to the Appleton OHV park which I didn’t know existed and rode around on the 4-wheeler and got muddy which is TOTALLY outside of my normal activities. I’ve never ridden a 4-wheeler AT an OHV park, so I’m counting it.
7.      Go on a road trip with Steve and Indy.
DOUBLE CHECK. – To the North Shore AND to North Carolina.
8.      Edit #1 of Book #2.
CHECK? – I feel like this one is a toss-up. I didn’t finish, but I made it a good chunk of the way through. And what was originally a half finished book with a ‘I have no idea where I want this to go’ actually has a bit more vision now. A plan. A story forming itself in my head. For the most part, the story is now written (in my head). I just have to get pen and paper and keep working out the kinks
9.      Go on a solo weekend.
CHECK? – I kind of just had a lot of solo weekends at home and didn’t really have to go anywhere. I need to be better about actually using them to take the mental breaks that I need that I hoped to get from a solo weekend.
10.   Take a cheap flight to anywhere with Allison.
NOT THIS YEAR. – Hopefully someday. J
11.   Repair relationships.
CHECK. – This is a big one. Truth be told, when I wrote this, there were 3 relationships I had in mind. I also miswrote this. It should say BEGIN to repair relationships. Because the 3 I had in mind, I knew there was no way they were going to be able to be repaired in a year. But I wanted to start. And I think I did that. They’re all still in very different stages of repair. But the ball is rolling. The one that I wasn’t expecting that came completely out of left field was my relationship with myself. I didn’t realize how much repair work needed to be done there before I could even start on the others. Just like the rest of them, it’s still a work in progress. But at least I know it’s IN PROGRESS.
12.   Learn to drive the lawn mower.
CHECK. – Don’t love it, but don’t hate it enough to want to pay someone else to mow my lawn. So it is what it is, I guess.
13.   Be more observant and intentional in my friendships.
WORK IN PROGRESS. – I feel like for a while I did better at this, and then for a while, not so much. I think it goes in spurts. So there’s definitely still progress to be made – I want it to be consistently on the incline.
14.   Do a ropes course.
NOT THIS YEAR. – Had an opportunity on vacation. Chickened out.
15.   Have a bonfire/yard party with friends.
CHECK. – It kind of turned into a house party, because weather, but I’m counting it.
16.   Do a lazy river (either an actual river, or at a waterpark).
NOT THIS YEAR. – Still on my to-do list eventually.
17.   Go to a Mystery Dinner Theater.
NOT THIS YEAR. – Also still on my to-do list.
18.   Find a dog park with Indy.
CHECK. – I didn’t realize that it would be in our own town. But we checked it out and have visited a few times so Indy can smell all the smells and play with the other puppies.
19.   Grow my table.
WORK IN PROGRESS. – There were definitely steps I made in this direction that were outside of my normal comfort zone in terms of inviting groups of people over. BUT there’s definitely still a lot of work to do. I need to come up with a better plan on how to implement this.  
20.   Read 12 books.
CHECK. – It was pretty ‘iffy’ for a while on whether or not I was going to make it, but I managed to squeeze them all in.
21.   Wine-tasting.
CHECK. – At the Biltmore Winery in North Carolina! We also did Moonshine tasting in Tennessee!
22.   Get donuts from the Clearwater Truck Stop.
CHECK. – A few times. Which is probably a few too many. It’s hard to pass up donuts the size of your face, though.
23.   Purge my house.
WORK IN PROGRESS. – And destined to forever be. I started. Then summer happened and I didn’t want to spend all my time in the house. Then Steve was home for longer than expected, so I didn’t want to waste my hours doing this while he was some so it took a back burner. What I learned, though, is that by the time you make it to the ‘end’ it’s time to start over again. So it will forever be a work in progress.
24.   Paint my bedroom.
CHECK. – Technically Steve did MOST of it. But it’s painted. And I love it.
25.   Create a travel list.
CHECK. – Not sure how I’m going to afford it all, but it’s a goal.
26.   Go to the horse races at Canterbury Park.
CHECK. – With my sister-in-law Michelle! I even took on driving in the cities to get there! It was well worth it and so much fun to watch the horses race! I even placed some bets on some.
27.   Say YES to more invitations.
CHECK. – As an introvert, sometimes I struggle to do the things. But once I do them, I’m always glad I did. So I’m trying to push myself to get over the hurdle of initially saying ‘yes’ so that I can take advantage of the things that I initially dread, but never regret.
28.   Put 100+ miles on the bike.
NOT THIS YEAR. – I actually thought this would be an easy accomplishment because I exceeded 100 miles the previous summer without really trying. But apparently I scaled back on the biking by quite a bit last summer.
29.   Kayaking!
NOT THIS YEAR. – Might need to look into actually buying a kayak before adding this back on the list.
30.   Learn how to make grandma’s slippers.
NOT THIS YEAR. – I looked for the pattern, which I’m certain she gave me a number of year ago, but couldn’t find it. Hopefully when I go back through that room to ‘purge’ I will find it so I can teach myself how to make them.
31.   Slow. Down. (Take time to enjoy the things around me instead of trying to rush through everything).
WORK IN PROGRESS. – This is SUCH a hard one for me. I’ve been trained to rush, rush, rush. Always be busy doing SOMETHING. And my mind, more than anything, is ALWAYS going. So it’s so hard for me to remember to slow down long enough to actually just enjoy what’s going on around me. Sometimes I do really well with it, sometimes I don’t. It’s always a push and pull.

So, the final tally:
15 ‘CHECKS’
6 ‘WORK IN PROGRESSES’
10 ‘NOT THIS YEARS’

Would I have loved to have 31 ‘CHECKS’? Absolutely. But the reality is that sometimes life throws us curveballs. Sometimes we get busy doing other things. Sometimes we forget that we have goals or that we’re ALLOWED to do fun things instead of JUST sticking to responsibilities.

What did I learn? I learned that while I’ve made leaps and bounds in the ‘independence’ arena over the past few years, I still have a long ways to go. There were a lot of things that didn’t happen because I didn’t have someone lined up to do them with. But the reality is that I COULD do them myself. I just have to step outside of my comfort zone and actually DO them myself. I also learned that when it comes to the total life changes – the things that require daily intentional actions – I need reminders. I need those things scribbled on a piece of paper I see every day. Because the reality is that sometimes I forget that I’m supposed to be doing them if I’m not reminded on the regular. I also learned that some of these things require a bit more planning instead of just being thrown on a list without any real direction.

I learned a lot from this and while I didn’t ‘complete’ all of the things on the list, I don’t necessarily feel like I failed. There’s a lot of things I DID do that I normally wouldn’t have. There’s a lot of steps I took outside of my comfort zone to cross those things off of my list and there’s a lot of other things that I learned along the way. There’s even some additional things that I took on that DIDN’T make the list, but probably should have if I had thought of them when I was making the list.

It’s fun to have ‘fun’ goals. Instead of just your regular old responsible adult goals. There will definitely be a 32 while 32 list coming – I’m just a little behind. J

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