When I was younger, my parents always had me study for my
spelling tests right before I would go to sleep, with the belief that studying
right before you went to sleep helped your brain to retain the information. I’m
sure we’ve all heard that before though, so it’s not really “new” news. While I
always did really well on my spelling tests, I’m not entirely convinced that it
was because I studied before I went to sleep. I think it is just because I have
always found spelling to be rather easy. (Please note that any spelling errors
in this blog is most likely a “typo” and not an actual spelling error—I dislike
proofreading, so I only do it when I have to). And, to be completely honest, I
spent many a night studying late at night, even falling asleep while studying
for some of my college courses, and I don’t think it helped any.
Either way, I never had dreams about spelling, or
accounting, or anything else that I studied before I went to bed at night. At
least not that I remember.
Which bring me to my next observation—I remember a LOT of my
dreams. According to my 10th grade Psychology class, that is BAD.
That means that I am frequently woken up while during my REM sleep cycle which
means I actually end up being more tired than I would, had I woken up and not
remembered my dreams. Either way, my dreams are usually pretty crazy. If I
actually believed that what you dreamt about had some hidden meaning, I would
probably check myself into some dream analysis hospital, which would very
quickly land me in a mental institution.
Occasionally I have fairly normal, realistic dreams though,
and lately those dreams have been so vivid that I wake up wondering if I was
dreaming, or if at least part of that dream really happened. As much as I would
like to say that this blog post is about one of those crazy, screwed up, “how
on Earth did I come up with THAT?” dreams, it’s not. It’s about one of the
normal, realistic ones.
A few days ago, early in the morning, my husband and I were
still sleeping. I have no idea what time it ACTUALLY was, but in my mind, I was
thinking it was like 5am. I realize now that it was probably more like 8am, but
whatever. We were still sleeping, and Steve’s phone rang. He looked at the
number, and chose to ignore it. But, since he knew that it (barely) woke me up,
he asked, “Who would be calling with a number that is all 1s?” Which spiraled
me straight into a sleep induced panic, and VERY vivid dream. I heard the
little “beep” informing him that the caller had left a voicemail for him. I
told him (in my sleep) that he needed to listen to it RIGHT NOW to find out
what they wanted. He didn’t, he just rolled over and went back to sleep.
It was very stressful to me that I didn’t know what the
caller wanted (although, apparently not stressful enough to keep me awake
because I fell asleep almost immediately after I told him he needed to listen
to the voicemail RIGHT NOW. This whole thing probably requires a little further
explanation—like why I was so adamant about knowing RIGHT NOW, and why it
stressed me out so much to not know, and left me in a panic in my sleep. There
actually is a very legitimate reason for feeling all of this, and here it is:
In the Marine Corps, they have what are called a “Family
Readiness Officers”, or as Milspouses call them, “FROs”. While these people are
available to help military families with anything, deployed or not, one of
their more well-known duties, is to relay information to the families of
deployed Marines, and to help those families cope with their Marine being gone.
While Marines are deployed, they will send out (automated) phone calls to the
families with any updates they receive. I was on the “calling list” while Steve
was in Afghanistan.
Whenever they would call, the number would show up on my phone as all 1s.
In my pretty much completely sleeping stupor, for some
reason, I was certain that it was the FRO calling us to inform us that Steve
was being called back into active duty. Now this isn’t a COMPLETELY nutso
thought. It really could happen. Steve technically still has 2+ years of
inactive duty left, meaning that if the need arises, they can call him back to
go to war. Generally this would mean a deployment of mass proportions—as in
every military man in the country who was “active duty” would have to be
deployed before Steve would have to go again, and with all branches of the
military currently OVER staffed, it is unlikely that will happen. But not
impossible. The one slightly “nutso” aspect of that, is why I thought it would
be the automated FRO phone call that would be informing us that he was being
called back.
I was so confused about why we would be getting a phone call
from them at all, that was the only conclusion that I could come to. It never
even occurred to me that some one else’s number might show up like that. I
think that’s why I wanted him to listen to the voicemail RIGHT NOW. I wanted to
know why they were calling us.
I fell asleep thinking about this, and for once in my life,
what I fell asleep thinking about actually reflected in my dreams. I dreamt
that it was, in fact, the FRO. Luckily, he wasn’t calling to inform us that
Steve had been reactivated, he was calling us to inform us of some heart
condition that many of the Marines that were in Steve’s unit were experiencing,
due to some kind of chemical or gas that they had been exposed to where they
went. And that he should go to the VA and get checked out immediately.
Now, this isn’t entirely crazy either, although I am a
little curious how it came into play. Steve was exposed to plenty of gases that
were deemed “cancerous”, during his active duty. Not to mention the fact that
they (meaning the Marines in the occupation) have come to the conclusion that
“Trackers” are not able to have sons. And so far it has proven true to all but
1 person that I know—and that one’s son was born before he was in the Marine
Corps, so that hardly counts. Again, that part that I don’t really understand is
why I thought the FRO would be calling to inform us. When actually (since Steve
is already dealing with the VA) it would probably be his doctor at the VA that
would inform him of this.
Anyway, I woke up not too long after that, and was completely
confused. I had no idea why I was dreaming about that, or how much of it was
true. I didn’t know if the phone call had really been from the FRO, or if there
even was a phone call, or if it was all a dream. I was going to ask Steve (who
had also just woken up), if someone had called that had a number with all 1s,
risking feeling like a complete moron, but I didn’t have to. Just as I was
thinking about asking, he picked up his phone and called his voicemail. I
listened, heart racing, as he keyed in his password and waited for the very
kind-sounding, yet annoying “voicemail lady” to inform him that he had a new
message.
I was relieved to hear that it was some lady asking about a
tool repair.
I have heard about military men coming back from war and
having flashbacks through dreams of their time in the warzone. And all the
post-traumatic stress symptoms. I have even heard of milspouses with injured or
KIA soldiers experiencing the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms through
the recollections of their husbands. I’m not implying that I have anything
remotely close to post-traumatic stress, but I did find it very odd, how worked
up I got about a phone number. How panicked I got wondering why the military
was calling us, and the sense of urgency of needing to know RIGHT NOW.
Although this “lesson” is something that I already knew, it
was a good reminder that war affects everyone. It doesn’t just stop at the
soldiers, or even their families. It goes beyond that a plays a role in
everyone’s lives—whether they like it or not. And it doesn’t just go away—even
the smallest triggers can send feeling flooding back.
So, no picture for this one either—I’m not doing so hot on
the “picture” aspect of my New Years’ Resolution, but honestly, I’m not sure
what I would take a picture of to go with this story, so I will save the
picture for another blog post.
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