Bloodlines, Battlefields and Legacies

               If I had to choose two traits that define the Cooper bloodline, I’d choose resiliency and stubbornness – or, as I prefer to call it, determination. Every family has them – two or three of these traits that are stronger than the rest and that somehow get carried through generation after generation after generation. It’s just in their blood.

               We all always hope that we will only pick up the best of the best when it comes to these traits and then hope that our children will do the same. But it doesn’t always work that way and sometimes you have to make what you do get work to your advantage and adapt. Hence the determination.

               The Cooper family tree – especially my grandpa’s branch of it – has seen their fair share of struggles. Or battles. Struggles with illnesses. Lives of loved ones ended far too soon. But they are a resilient bunch. It’s in their blood. So they carry on. With more grace than most others would ever be able to – likely out of sheer stubbornness – determination.

               Farming was my grandpa’s livelihood. It was what he loved. What he looked forward to. And what he built his life upon. One of my favorite – and most prevalent – childhood memories of my grandpa is when he would take both me and my brother out to the cattle yard to do chores with him. We couldn’t have been much older than 6 and 8 when he started taking us out there and how he ever had the bravery, or willingness, to take two kids out there with him, in the pens, with cattle that weighted more than double of all three of us combined, I will never know. But then again, the Cooper blood runs strong in Derek and I, too, so maybe he didn’t have much of a choice.

               Stubbornness kept him in a tractor, working the fields for far longer than he should have been. And when he finally let go of his stubbornness about that, it was his resiliency that gave him something new to be stubborn about – staying on the farm place for as long as possible.

               In more recent years, when farming was no longer front and center, my fondest memories revolve around going to my grandparents’ house on weekends when I was at school and during a period of my life in which I have never been more thankful for the Cooper resiliency that also runs in my blood. It was when I realized that my grandpa’s compassion stemmed from his resiliency to the battlefields – figurative and literal – of his own life.

               It was the figurative battlefields – the emotional battlefields – that fostered his consideration for others and led to his insistence that it is always important to be kind to others. Even your siblings. Because he knew all too well that anyone could be gone in an instant and without warning.

               It was the literal battlefields from his time in the war that gave him his heart of concern for those in similar situations – especially Steve. It was those battlefields that led to an immediate bond between the two of them and formed some of my favorite memories of more recent days – listening to them discuss the ‘thens vs nows’ of the military – usually while sitting around the kitchen table over a good ol’ game of dice.

               His resiliency to these (and many more) struggles and his stubbornness determination in his desire to overcome them is what made him the man he became. It’s his bloodline traits and how he utilized them throughout his life that led to his compassion. His drive. His kindness. His legacy. And it is through his bloodline that his legacy will continue to be carried.    

Ice Bucket Challenge...

I know what you’re thinking – “is she FINALLY returning to blogging after her 2+ year hiatus?” The answer is no, probably not. Mostly, I just felt that this belonged somewhere other than a “blip” on my newsfeed on Facebook.

I was nominated for the Ice Bucket Challenge by my friend, Ashley Bossuyt. While I have gotten a little annoyed with ALL of the Ice Bucket Challenge videos that show up in my newsfeed (probably because most of the people who show up there, I don’t even know, but they “tagged” friends of mine), once nominated, I felt OBLIGATED to do it. As my 24 hours to complete the challenge progressed, I started to get a little more excited about it, because I decided to break the rules a little bit (if there even are any “official rules”) and do it my own way – a way that was more meaningful to me. In light of recent news that Steve and I received, I have chosen to donate to the USO instead of ALS.

This past weekend, we found out that one of Steve’s buddies from the Marine Corps took his own life about a year and a half ago. I had met him a couple times, and he and I bonded over a fear of water, while sitting on boogie boards in the Atlantic, past the breaking point of the waves, at 2 in the morning, while the rest of the group swam out deeper and played water games with glow sticks. We had surprisingly serious conversations while sitting out there, considering we had only met a couple days prior. I guess you could say we were “fast friends”.

Eventually he and Steve ended up getting separated when it came to the Marine Corps, and as happens, they kind of became disconnected from each other.

Despite my best efforts in trying to track him down on Facebook since Steve got out of the Marine Corps, apparently there are quite a few people by the name of “Will Smith” in Seattle, Washington, and just the world in general, and I was never able to find him.

This news came as quite a shock to me, and in the 24 hours since I found out, my heart has just grown heavier. I have become more upset that I wasn’t able to track him down, and that I will never know if I could have had an influence on him and his decision if I had. My heart feels heavy for his friends and his family that he left behind, but it feels even heavier for what he must have been feeling in the days, months, or even years leading him to that decision. My heart breaks for what his heart must have been feeling.

While I don’t know exactly what lead him to this act, I do know that life threw him some pretty wicked curveballs leading up to his exit from the Marine Corps. He was on about the same “scheduled” as Steve, which means he would have been out for about a year and a half, before he took his life. I can’t help but believe that at least part of what led him to that, is the struggle with reintegration into civilian life. I know, from experience, that it can be difficult to adjust and to recreate your “niche” in society. To try to pick up old friendships where they left off 4+ years ago. And to try to force yourself back into a civilian lifestyle, when the military lifestyle is all you have known for the past 4+ years. After 3¹/₂ years of Steve being out, I’m still not sure that we are “there” yet (wherever “there” is). We still struggle with fitting ourselves back into society. Even I have struggled with this and I technically never left the civilian lifestyle.

So, there it is – the reason I have chosen to donate to the USO instead – in hopes that I can help USO to help someone whose heart is heavy with the stress of reintegration.

And here it is – my ice bucket video. Could I have donated to the USO without “publicly” drawing attention to myself by dumping ice water over my head?! SURE I could have, but where is the fun of that? Plus, I thought it would be a good walk down memory lane of the ice cold, over-your-head waves that you have to combat in order to get past the breaking point of the waves in the Atlantic…

Lessons

I originally wrote this post about 2¹/₂  months ago, but it never actually made it to my blog, although I really wanted it to. Since then, some of it has been rendered irrelevant and “outdated”, so, here goes version 2.0.

I have been job searching – which stinks – and I haven’t found anything yet. I have applied for some. Some that I would really like doing, but the verdict is still out on them. And lately, there hasn’t been much more to apply for. I am hoping that one of the “outstanding ones” pulls through, or some others come up soon so I can at least feel like I am ACTIVELY searching and not just sitting around.

That being said, I am beginning to reconsider some things. I am not sure why God decided that the job I was working wasn’t the job for me, but He did. And luckily, I have found many positive things that have happened because of it.

I have been able to spent some time with my niece and nephews. One of my nephews, I was able to watch for 4 days – and he is the one that I see the least out of my 3 nephews and 1 (now 2) nieces. It was nice to be able to hang out with him and do activities with him. He is 4 and I think that is such a fun age because you can actually DO things with them that younger kids aren’t old enough to do, and older kids aren’t interested in doing.

I was also able to spend some extra time with my twin niece and nephew while awaiting the arrival of their new sibling (a sister), and after the arrival of their sister. I was happy that I was able to help out my sisters-in-law and spend time with my nieces and nephews all at the same time!

Another positive thing that has come out of this is that I was able to help with my cousin’s benefit more than I ever would have been able to if I was working 40 hours a week. When I was still working, I purchased a pattern for a cross-stitching that I wanted to complete and donate for the silent auction part of the benefit. I purchased it with less than 2 months to finish it. I knew that in order to finish it, I might have to pull some overnighters, maybe sacrifice some summer fun, or risk being viewed as anti-social by bringing it to family events and working on it there. But the image on the cross-stitching was just too beautiful and too “fitting” for the circumstance to not do it. So, I was willing to take on no-sleep, no-fun, and being anti-social. However, since I wasn’t working, I was able to work on it at a semi-leisurely pace and finish in enough time that I could get it custom framed. After it was finished, I realize that I would have gotten SIGNIFICANTLY less sleep than I had planned if I was ever going to finish it and work at the same time. I was also able to help with fundraising, advertising, and putting on the benefit. What a wonderful thing to be able to participate in!

The cross-stitching I donated for the benefit, titled "In His Hands".

My most recent positive about not working, is that I was able to help my dad out on the family farm. I have never been interested in farming, and the closest I ever really came to “helping” was doing the occasional pig chores, and rock-picking. Earlier this week, my dad called me and asked if I would be interested in driving semi for him while he combined. I decided I would give it a shot. Shocking, I know. Most people don’t know this, but I have yet to learn how to drive a riding lawn mower because I was too terrified to learn. I also vowed that I would never get a driver’s license up until the day I actually started Driver’s Ed in high school. I have never been interested in learning to drive things. But, there I was sitting in the semi, learning how to drive the 4 miles to the grain elevator and back. I thought for sure I had that mastered and of course the semi broke down. So, before I knew it, I was being trained in on how to drive the combine, where I spent the remainder of my week.

I am glad that I was able to help my dad out. There were so many points during the last week of helping him that I have wondered “How would he have managed this, if I weren’t here?” I’m sure that he would have, because I know he has done it by himself before, but hopefully I made it a little easier by helping him out! I’m also glad I was able to learn about farming and could contribute to the harvest for once in my life. And it was also kind of cool that I was able to conquer my fear of driving new types of vehicles by learning to drive TWO new vehicles in TWO days. I’m thinking a riding lawn mower should be a breeze now!

During my time of unemployment, I have also spent some time considering self employment, until I realized that the only thing I know how to do confidently enough that I would be able to take it on myself is accounting for Matco Tools distributors. So, unless like 20-30 distributors decide to turn their accounting over to me, I wouldn’t really be able to make a living off of that! I have also considered just not working and hoping that now that we have somehow magically maneuvered our way through the pile up of expensive inventory from the Tool Expo, that the business can support us on its own. Of course, then I would feel COMPLETELY lazy, being a stay-at-home wife with no children. I know, I know – there is an “easy” solution to that – just not sure I am ready for that step yet!

Anyway, aside from precious time with my nieces and nephews and time to help someone who needs it, I feel like God has been pulling me to get into His Word more and to spent time thinking about all it has to teach me. I am still working on this. But, then again, isn’t something like that ALWAYS a work in progress? It is always teaching, always showing us new things, always helping us to realize the love of the Father and the value of ourselves through His eyes.

One of the hardest things about losing your jobs – even when it’s through no fault of your own – is the feeling that comes afterward. The feeling of worthlessness, of shame. The feeling that you did something wrong. It took one COMPLETELY tear filled church service and 2 months for me to realize that I didn’t lose my job because of something I did. I didn’t lose it because I was worthless or incapable of performing my job. I didn’t have any reason to feel ashamed. I lost it because God has a different plan for me. A better plan. And that is something I should feel proud of. That He loves me enough to take matters out of my hands, into His own, and take over completely, shaping it into something I never dreamed of. And to help me find the lessons that He is teaching me. It is like He grabbed my face – smushed my cheeks between His hands, forcing me to look at Him and said, “Hey! I’ve got this! Don’t worry! Just enjoy the ride!”

I hope that these little lessons will help me form meaningful blogposts. Whether they are just meaningful to me, or meaningful to others, as well. I want to remember lessons I’ve learned, things He’s taught me.

The Storms We Share, Part 2

I have been neglecting my blog. It has been 4 months since I have posted. There’s really no good reason, no excuse that is sufficient. Truth is, I actually had a blog post all typed out, ready to post over a month ago and I never posted it because I wanted some pictures to go along with it (pictures always hand me up when it comes to blog posting). But, I am thinking now that it is okay because I think it “fits” better after this post anyway. So, now with a heart that needs healing and a new “twist” to my old blog, I am starting to post again. And even though I have said this MANY times before, hopefully this time, it will happen regularly. I have 3 posts ready to go already and inspiration for many more!

I have recently picked up and dusted off my version of Streams in the Desert that I received as a wedding/pre-deployment gift from my mother-in-law and sister-in-law.

Upon reading the July 28^th entry, I found a whole new meaning for the title of my blog. Upon starting my blog, THIS is the explanation I gave for naming my blog what I did. And while that is still very much true, I found this passage, also very fitting.

This is the July 28^th Streams in the Desert passage:

I remember when I was a young person attending school in Mound Pleasant. One day I sat on the side of the mountain and watched a storm as it moved through the valley. The skies were filled with darkness, and thunder began to shake the earth. It seemed as though the lush landscapes were completely changed, and its beauty gone forever. But the storm passed quickly and soon moved out of the valley.

            If I had sat in the same place the following day and said, “Where is that intense storm and all its terrible darkness?” The grass would have said, “Part of it is in me.” The beautiful daisy would have said, “Part of it is in me.” And all the other flowers, fruits, and everything that grows in the ground would have said “Part of the storm has produced radiance in me.”

            Have you ever asked the Lord to make your like Him? Have you ever desired the fruit of the Spirit and prayed for sweetness, gentleness, and love? If so, then never fear the fierce storms that even now may be blowing through your life. Storms bring blessings, and rich fruit will be harvested later.

God gives us “storms” in our lives for many reasons. In the physical sense of the word “storms”, He gives them to us to remind us of His power. To remind us that nothing is out of his control and nothing is too powerful for him to handle. When we are feeling our lowest low, we can rest comfortably knowing that God is all-powerful.

In the symbolic meaning of the word “storm”, he sends them to our lives. The difficult times. The times that our outlook becomes filled with darkness, fear begins to shake our nerves, and it seems as through things are never going to improve, never get better.

But we must always remember that the end of the storm is coming. We won’t always be trapped in darkness and it won’t always seem like things couldn’t get any worse.

God gives us those storms to teach us to be more like Him. To give us the virtues we desperately need.

How would we ever learn to love and learn what love actually is without first having to endure heartbreak? How would we ever feel joy if we didn’t occasionally have to endure deep sorrow that comes with life’s trials? How would we know what peace is if we never had any reason to experience unrest and uneasiness? How would we ever learn patience if we never had to wait for anything? How would we ever recognize and appreciate God’s kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness if He never put us in situations in which He could demonstrate them for us? And how would we ever learn them for ourselves?

A “perfect world” would never be perfect because there are so many emotions we would never feel. We would never have the “bad” emotions, but if it weren’t for the bad emotions and the bad situations, or “storms”, the good ones wouldn’t be all that great.

God gives us storms to teach us to be more like Him and to give us a change to experience the true greatness of the good things in life.

And the best part of it all, is that no matter what the storm may be – a lost job, a death in the family, deployments, whatever, we never have to worry THAT much about it (as hard as that is to remember when your standing in the middle of a hurricane!) because God won’t let it get so out of control that we can’t handle it. He will push you until your breaking point to provide with the blessings he know you need and just when you think the storm is about to bring your demise, He will step in and remind you that He is all powerful. He is in control. And He is.

He displays His power in the whirlwind and the storm. The billowing clouds are the dust beneath His feet.”

Nahum 1:3

Strength in Weakness

I am trying to be a good little blogger girl and keep up with my blog and my New Year's Resolution that I have failed miserably at for the first 3¹/₂  months of the year. And I guess I am still failing...I had this one written a week ago, but am just now finishing it and posting it.

This week, I have found myself thinking about all the different ways that strength shows itself and how your true strength almost always really shows to others, when you feel like you are at your weakest.

I recently attended a storm spotter class and learned about how to identify different  parts of storms, how to  estimate the intensity of the storm, and how to determine just which direction that storm is traveling. I also discovered that I have a new found love for storms and think it would be pretty awesome to be a storm chaser (Note: the class did not encourage storm CHASING, it encouraged storm SPOTTING). Anyway, I won’t give you ALL the details because if you really wanted to know, you probably would have gone to the class yourself. Plus, I don’t think I could explain it in a way that makes sense without drawing you a picture, and since my drawing ability is limited, that probably wouldn’t help either. Anyway, here it is, in a nutshell:

Assuming that the storm is coming directly at you, (besides being in a VERY bad location), you would  first experience wind—it could be the damaging type, or just strong winds, depending on how strong the storm is. The next thing you would experience is rain and/or hail. The stronger the storm, the bigger the hail. Most of us would think that the strong winds and the rain and hail would be the “fury” of the storm. It’s the most visible, the most tangible. It almost always comes with the flashes of lightning and the booms of thunder. It seems so powerful. But we’re not done yet! After the strong winds and the rain? The calm. Again, I won’t bore you with what is REALLY happening at this point, but I will say this—if all the conditions are right, and the storm is strong enough, this “calm” is most often where tornadoes are born.

How ironic. Storms really show their strength at the point when you would think they would be the weakest. Not unlike people.

It is very rare that military wives are recognized or commended as being strong when their husbands are stateside, and working what is (more or less) a 9-5 job. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that—they don’t do it because they want to be perceived as strong, or because they want to be commended for it. They do it because they love someone who has a desire to defend the freedoms of those he loves.

It isn’t until their husbands are deployed for an indefinite amount of time, that these women start to hear the “You’re SO STRONG” comments. But they don’t FEEL strong. They feel like the weakest person in the world. Especially during those first couple weeks after deployment. They feel weak. They feel lost. They feel like there is no way they will survive the coming months. There’s a good chance that most of them feel the weakest they have ever felt. The weakest I have ever felt was the period of time that I found out Steve was deploying to Afghanistan, and leading up to the 2-4 weeks after he left. I had to make some big decisions during that time period and never once did I feel strong. I don’t think that I felt strong again until I was dropping everything and boarding a plane to North Carolina—and that could have just been the fact that I was carrying 2¹/₂  bags of clothes and a carry-on full of books. J

I find it so strange that those moments of weakness are when their strength really shows. Those moments of feeling weak, and lost, that they somehow harness the weakness that they’re feeling and turn it into, what appears to others, as strength beyond what most people could imagine.

My cousin recently had an adorable baby boy. At less than 1 month into life, he had to have heart surgery. On the morning of the day that his heart surgery was supposed to take place, I found myself crying as I was driving to work. I don’t know if I was feeling over-emotional that day, or if my motherly instincts that you supposedly get when you reach child-bearing age finally kicked in, or what. (And no, that is not some “hidden” illusion to any big secrets). All I could think about is if I were in my cousins place, how I would feel. What I would do. How completely weak and helpless I would feel, knowing that my 3 week old baby was going to have major surgery, and all I could do was sit and wait and hope.

I wasn’t waiting in the hospital at all with my cousin while she waited out her baby’s surgery and recovery, but I could feel her strength emanating from her Caring Bridge posts, that I followed religiously. I could tell that she was handling it incredibly, and that strength, that even she probably didn’t know she had, was showing itself. Right then. Did she feel strong? I doubt it (although more power to her if she did!). I would guess that this was probably one of her weakest moments. And yet, once again, strength beyond what most people could imagine was showing itself.

Not to mention her 3 week old little boy—at arguably his weakest stage of life—who recovered from his heart surgery 3-6 days ahead of schedule, and is still doing wonderfully! Praise the Lord for that!

So, after a few days of feeling “weak”, I must remember that those moments of weakness are just ways of finding strength. Those moments that you feel weak, aren’t actually weakness at all. They are moments of strength that are disguised as weakness. They are the moments that you will look back on and remember as a time that you had the strength to make it through something that you thought was impossible.

Home

 **Make sure that you pause my regular "blog" music before watching the video by scrolling all the way to the bottom of the page and clicking the pause button on the Playlist.

For some reason, every time I watch this video and hear this song (which has been a lot lately), I have had the overwhelming urge to write.

I had started a blog relating to this video about a month ago, but never managed to finish it (kind of the trend lately). After watching it a couple more times, my feelings for it seem to have intensified, so here goes attempt #2 at a post!

I have come to really like this video for numerous reasons. Of course one of these reasons is that it reminds me of North Carolina. I have no idea where it was ACTUALLY was taken, but I DO know that the singer—the girl in the video—was on a TV show for 9 seasons that was filmed in Wilmington, North Carolina. So there’s a good change it IS actually North Carolina. But, oddly enough, that’s not the reason I am most drawn to the video.

The #1 reason I like this video? It doesn’t look staged at all. It looks like there was no script, no plan, no “set”. It was just her, having fun, doing whatever she though of doing in that moment.

In many ways, it inspires me. Would I ever be caught dancing in public? Probably not. Trying to hurdle a barrel/garbage can? Probably not. Doing any of the things she does in this video? Probably not. Well, I have written in the sand before, but only after making sure no one was watching me.

It makes me wonder though. What’s so wrong with doing those things in public? What’s so wrong about being yourself and just having fun (and maybe making a fool of yourself) and doing things that make you happy. What’s wrong with doing whatever you feel like doing in that moment?

Nothing.

So why is it so hard? What is so difficult about just living and not worrying?

If there is one thing that I wish I could change about myself, that is it—that I could let go of inhibitions and just live. Just be. Just do whatever makes me happy in that moment. To be the girl in the video. The girl that isn’t afraid to do something out of the ordinary because it will make me happy. I with I could stop worrying about EVERYTHING and just live and enjoy life.

In addition to the video, I have found myself pulling meaning from the song itself also (while walking around the house singing loudly to myself).

“Hunny I just can’t get around it anymore, you make me feel like homes is where you are. Baby I just can’t walk around it every morn. It’s time that I believe that home is where you are.”

Little by little, this song (and my moment) have been helping me overcome my lack of an “at home” feeling. It continues to engrave into my head that “home is where you (my husband) are.” And if he is here, and wants to be here, then I guess that I am home. And it’s time that I believe that.

That being said, I guess that the main overall lesson I am pulling from all these “mini lessons” is this- just because I am back in a place where I grew up. Where everyone thinks they know me, doesn’t mean that I can’t change. That I can’t create a new me. That I can’t become the girl in the video who is happy and has found her home. I CAN change. I CAN be that girl. And someday, I will be.

“I’ve never been to half of these places, but your postcard collection makes me crave a little space a little ways out of the city into the grace of another land, another tongue, another time.”

The Great Unknown

 (**I have been desperately trying to generate a second post about our Vegas trip, and after 2 separate attempts, and the discovery that over half of my pictures from the trip “disappeared” from my memory card, I have decided to just give it up and move on to something else)

Tonight I seem to have found a recurring theme amongst my Facebook friends/acquaintances. That theme is the unknown. I mostly see it in a group that I am a part of that is a support group for military spouses. This group, is very unique. It isn’t like most other groups on Facebook. It is very, very different. In a very good way. It is a sorority type group that does fundraisers, and potlucks, and everything else you would do with a group of friends.

After a minor panic attack from one of the girls whose husband is currently deployed to Afghanistan, we somehow got on the subject of the unknown. I discovered that many of them are much like I am. Or was, anyway.

One of the biggest struggles, as I have probably mentioned before, of the Marine Corps, is having to conform to their way of doing things. Having to take your schedule and make it fit theirs. Because they don’t “adjust” their schedules to fit yours. Ever. Anytime you try to plan something, it’s like the Marine Corps KNOWS that you have it planned and purposely throws a kink in it. It’s very hard for people who are like I was, to adjust to that. People who always have their life planned out. Who know what they are doing, when they are doing it, and where they are going to do it.

Many people—military and civilian—cling to that as their support. They see it as their way of having some kind of control over the future and the unknown. Unfortunately, most people never realize that it doesn’t really work that way. This is one of the reasons why I am very thankful to the military. The Marine Corps broke me of this habit. It took time, and a lot of frustration, but it did.

My big leap off the edge of “preparedness” into the Great Unknown, came when I moved to North Carolina. I finished college in July, quit my job (without another one lined up) at the end of July, moved back home with my parents with the intention of finding a job. And after about 2 weeks of looking, I bought a plane ticket and was on my way out to North Carolina in the middle of August, with 2 bags worth of stuff to last me for 4 months, or however long I decided to stay out there. This was so uncharacteristic of me. The last time I went to North Carolina (for a 10 day visit, mind you), I bought my plane ticket about 5 months in advance.

After 4 years of being jerked around on the military’s VERY short chain, I was done with it. I decided that I would just willingly go. I would willingly jump through hoops. I would willingly do what they wanted me to do. And if that meant packing 4 months worth of “stuff” into 2 bags, then that’s what I would do.

I still am not really back to my “old self”. And to be honest, I’m not sure I want to go back there. There is something very liberating about having no plans, and no schedules, and not trying to control things. There is something very liberating about being able to “fly by the seat of your pants” and not over think things. To not constantly be thinking about “what if this happens, or what if that happens”—but to just live it, and see what DOES happen.

Let be honest. You can SAY that you are going to that Pampered Chef party next weekend, or you can PLAN on going to you cousin’s best friend’s sister’s baby shower, but does that really mean you have control over your future? Of course not. What happens if your sister is in a bad accident the day before the Pampered Chef party? Or your son breaks his arm the morning of the baby shower? I would bet you’re not going to either one. You can’t control your future. You can plan, and hope for the best, but that’s all you can do. There will always be the Great Unknown.

God is the one who is in charge, and he will put you where he wants you—which is not necessarily going to be where you are “supposed” to be according to your calendar. Which isn’t to say that you shouldn’t keep a calendar—order is good. But, it’s important to not view that calendar as your way to control the future or attempt to make the unknown disappear. Because it doesn’t, and it won’t.

Embrace the unknown. Trust that God will put you where he needs you, when he needs you there. And take a leap out of the world of “structure and control” and do what you feel like doing in that moment. Even if it’s only for a day, leave your schedule behind, let your plans be broken, and just live.

A random moon picture from North Carolina, because I thought this post needed a pictures...and I seem to stuck at remembering to take new ones..

“Sometimes an interruption is actually a divine appointment”

(my mom told me this after we missed our flight to Vegas—not sure if she read it somewhere, or if it was one of her own, but either way, she’s right)